after the breakupAfter the breakup cut all forms of direct or indirect contact.

Do not Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Foursquare stalk.

This is mental torture and prevents closure and evolution.

If you don’t want to de-friend her on Facebook, at least change your newsfeed settings to not show her posts.

After the Breakup Be Alone for a While

Process what happened and find at least one takeaway lesson: this makes whatever happened worthwhile.

Don’t try to be friends too soon. If there was good, mourn the good. If there wasn’t, cut your losses and know what you’ll do differently next time.

The Internet is written in ink. Don’t air your dirty laundry.

After the Breakup, Be a Grownup

No matter what she did or how angry or hurt you are, never use information she disclosed to you in confidence for revenge. Only teenagers and men of weak character do.

After the breakup delete any incriminating evidence/private information that could slip into the wrong hands (yours included) if you foresee getting drunk and making rash decisions or potentially having your computer or phone stolen or accessed by others.

after the break up emilyEmily Binder is the digital whipcracker, currently doing marketing for a travel brand in Atlanta. Psychologist posing as marketer and Chicago native enjoying life in the South, Emily writes a blog about marketing, digital, and our resulting culture. On the weekends she co-hosts The Digital Dive Podcast, and after work she answers to a desperate community’s questions about how to stalk or avoid exes and frenemies on Instagram. Emily is one of the few remaining American rollerbladers since the trend died c. 1999. Follow her on Twitter@emilybinder and check out her website at


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