A lot of men want to know how to last longer in bed. Waiting through date after date only to last 40 seconds in the sack can be a hard blow to recover from.

Maybe you masturbate to ejaculate as fast as possible and you’ve trained yourself for speed.

Maybe it’s caused by psychological or physical issues.

Regardless, there are simple things you can do to make sure it doesn’t happen to you.

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Make It Last Bootcamp:

The next time you sit down for some “me time” start with one stroke every three seconds. Over the next 3-5 minutes start moving a little faster until you’re doing one stroke per second. If you feel like you might explode, stop. The same process can be applied to sex.

Anxiety is bad for any aspect of your life.

Performance anxiety can be a relentless villain. Pay attention to the voice in your head. Notice the tone. Shift from a nervous voice to a confident voice. You need to get out of your head and start seeing the noises as the TV that’s blaring when you’re trying to get work done. Change the channel or turn it off.

Training your pc muscles isn’t just for women. The next time you’re peeing try your best to stop mid stream. The muscles you used to do that are what you should strengthen. After you finish peeing squeeze your pc muscles for 5 seconds 20 times. Take a quick break then do 2 more sets!

Aside from the fact that her g-spot is about 2 inches in and you are most likely a lot bigger than that (hopefully), your chances of lasting longer are higher with more shallow strokes.

Break out the toys!!

Welcome to the wonderful world of cock rings.>Constriction rings are their medical term because that’s what they do. The constrict blood flow.

Some vibrate, some have a rubber tongue attached for extra stimulation for her.

If this is not something you’re comfortable with you can just buy thicker condoms or squeeze the perineum (the spot between the anus and the base of your testicles) to congest the flow of ejaculate.

Try a supplement!

There is a supplement for almost everything and erectile dysfunction is no exception. These are the ones that have the most positive feedback (with aff links):

  • Panax ginseng:  In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Panax ginseng is used to make people feel calmer.
  • AngelicaA plant used for nervousness. It may help by increasing the threshold of vibrations and senses received by the penis. 
  • Cinnamon bark and clove: Can all also be topically applied to the penis. Dong Qui Root may also be helpful. 

Embrace change.

When you feel like you might finish too soon this is a great time to change positions or do something different. Alter that fast paced jack hammering style that most men gravitate towards. Focus on something besides just the in and out.

Take the focus off you and make her hit the big O before you do.

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Find Her Erogenous Zones:
There are at least 9 erogenous zones besides the clit.
Take a break from the main course and focus on the side dish! Just in case you don’t know where they are..
  • Behind the knees: definitely one of my favorites. Don’t overdo it but because of the nerve endings some gentle licks and nibbles can make her crazy.
  • The neck: Brush her hair gently off her neck, pause letting your breath hit her neck before you nibble, kiss and lick.
  • The ears: For me I love being touched and kisses anywhere but when someone breaths into my ears or tries to have sex with my ear with their tongue I’m instantly turned off. Take it slow, trace your finger along the outside of her ear and see how she reacts, if she seems to enjoy it follow it with lips and tongue. Don’t forget how loud your breath sounds when you’re panting into her ear.
  • Bootylicious: The booty has many parts to explore. Some women may like spanking, rubbing, licking, sucking and even penetrating. Just make sure you get permission to enter.
  • Inner thighs: Massage them and leave a trail of kisses.
  • Feet: You’re not the only one. Most women love having their feet massaged, licked or sucked depending on how ticklish they are.
  • Breasts: Some are fortunate and can actually have an orgasm from breast / nipple stimulation.
  • The wrist: In the world of geishas showing the wrist is a sign of seduction and sexuality. Take her hand graze her wrists with your lips.
  • Lips: Don’t just try to enter her soul by sticking your tongue down her throat. In fact don’t do that at all. Nibble and kiss her lips without staying focused on just one spot.

Have you seen the movie There Is Something About Mary? As funny as it was, Ben Stiller was on to something. Cleaning the pipes before you go out can be a game changer. Many men experience less sensitivity during the second erection.

Key Takeaways on How to Last Longer in Bed:

You should masturbate and you should take your time with it. Train for sex like you would a triathlon. Break out of your comfort zone and stop being your own worst enemy.Let your hands explore her body and treat each session as a journey with side streets and 9 scenic stops.

If all else fails picture Kim Jong-il in leopard lingerie.

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Our sex columist, Erika Jordan, is also a prolific actress and glamour model. Follow her on Twitter @Erika4Jordan, Instagram @ErikaJordan, and visit her personal page ErikaJordan.net or misserikajordan.com a site made for the fans by the fans!