We had a chance to connect with Katarina Van Derham and talk about relationships, what it means to have self-esteem and the important actions that a man make in order to enhance his personal life.
So, what have you’ve been up to, Katarina?
What keeps me up every day and night is my new online magazine called Viva Glam.
I recruited 12 hot women who are models or former models, and are experts in specific fields such as cooking, travel, beauty, lifestyle, fashion etc. All of us run this fashion/glamour publication. Our premise is to inspire and motivate women around the world to be not just beautiful but to also use their talents and be entrepreneurs, and not just live in someone else’s mercy.
Would you that say having a healthy self-esteem and set of skills to fall back on is something difficult for both men and woman in this era?
Yes, absolutely. It almost feels like they are becoming lazy and don’t want to go to school or work. Schools are good because they teach you things that the internet can’t. I am talking about learning to stay focused, being patient, practicing memorization by which you train your brain to become sharp, punctuality, responsibilities, meeting deadlines, etc. If you don’t adopt these qualities, you will not achieve the results you wish for in life, and therefore your self-esteem will be low.
Many people don’t show they have low self-esteem but they come home and try to treat it behind closed doors. You have to have a healthy self-esteem. If you don’t, work on it!!! Without it you will never live to your fullest potential.
I doubt you’ve ever heard a cheesy pickup line or two in your day, but what do you believe men are missing the most when it comes to dating and relationships?
From my experience, I can say that the majority of men play games. Big mistake. If you play games, you will attract women that play games. “Alike attracts alike,” like a magnet. That’s one of the laws of Universe. Is that what you want? Many men try to act tough and macho, but deep inside they are gentle souls. They are ashamed to show it. You need to stay true to yourself if you want to attract a woman that’s right for you. Also, here in L.A., many men try to impress women with their wealth. I understand if this is all they have to offer, but if there’s more to them, they should show that first. I have noticed that some wealthy men act so differently around their “candies” than around me. They pick up my energy quickly since I never pretend to be someone else and all of a sudden they want to have a conversation with me and want to talk about interesting things. Not all the women want a man for his money! Women want to be respected, loved and be in a fair relationship. Remember to always be yourself, everyone else is already taken!
Do you have any horror stories about men trying to flash their money at you or buy you over?
I don’t have any horror stories, just tacky. For example, once someone, who is actually a known public figure, offered me to take me for lunch to Hawaii on a private jet the following Sunday. While he thought it would impress me, I found it tacky. I was thinking “Geez!! I would be wasting at least 6 hours of my time up in the air just for a 2 hour lunch.” Clearly this person doesn’t have much to offer because he doesn’t know the concept of spending quality time with a woman. Plus, he was not being too practical.
What is the most important quality a man should embody and what helped you shape that belief ?
Every man should be honest, trustworthy, respectful and keep his word. No one is perfect but if a man makes a mistake or screws up, he should be able to say “I’m sorry.” Also when he promises something, he should keep that promise. I don’t see it much anymore. If a man becomes a father, he should also be a good father. I see “fathers” who kind of clock in and clock out of their duties as a father depending on if they have to impress some hot chick. I am very lucky I have the nicest father. He is my role model and I see myself in him a lot. He loves my mom, respects her and adores her even after almost 40 years. He set a great example for me and that is why I always treat men well and with respect. I understand we live in a different day and age now, but the basic morals and values should never change.
I agree there are certain principles and foundations that never change. From your perspective what is something simple a man can do to show he appreciates and respects the woman in his life?
You know, everyone is different. There is a book everyone should read called Five Languages of Love. It talks about how important it is to find a partner who “speaks” the same language of love as you do. Some women are verbal and they need to hear “I love you’”all the time as a sign of apprecition. Some women love receiving gifts to feel they are loved. Some women love finding little heart notes hidden under their breakfast napkin, etc. If you want to be in a successful relationship, you must know yourself and your language of love. You need to find a person with the same language of love so you can be yourself and never have to struggle with figuring out how to please her. And, unless you find a person with the same language of love , don’t settle for less.
Katarina is a print and televison model, former two-time St. Pauly Girl based out of Los Angeles. Check out her latest work at Viva Glam and follow her on Twitter @KVanDerham.
Photos by Deja Jordan