be a better loverYou may be surprised to find that it’s not that hard to be a better lover.

In a recent Psychology Today blog post, Rita Watson exclaims that men who give gifts are better lovers.

The relationship columnist’s research, which consisted of speaking to a number of therapists, concluded that men who are stingy with generosity are unconsciously regulating intimacy and are missing out on the benefits of love.

So, it’s not that difficult to be a better lover if you can place the emphasis on her some more.

Whether you have a full wallet or an empty one, you can give great gifts when you put some thought into it. Here are seven tips that I use when selecting a present for that special someone.

7 Gift Ideas to Be a Better Lover

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Get Her What She Wants

Okay, I’m starting off with the obvious. But you’d be surprised how many guys pick out something they like, rather than what she likes! If she’s not already dropping hints, you’ll have to put some research into it. Ask her friends, look for clues on her Facebook updates, and check out her Pinterest boards. When selecting your gift, keep her personal style and preferences top of mind.[/li]

[li]Make it Memorable 

Tie your present to a special memory. For instance, if you’re giving her the new I-Pad mini, load it up with fun pictures of the two of you or favorite songs that remind you of her.[/li]

[li]Indulge her Dreams 

What is her deepest desire? Let’s say she has always wanted to go to Italy. Splurge and take her there! Okay, a lavish trip isn’t exactly in your budget? No problem. Invite her for a romantic picnic with freshly prepared Italian food and a bottle of wine. Give her a book about the various regions and, if you genuinely hope to take her there one day, mark off the places you would like to take her. Let her know that it’s your dream to fulfill hers.[/li]


Personally, I prefer to receive jewelry because it is something tangible that I can hold and later reminisce about receiving. However, what makes a piece even more special is when it’s comes with a secret message. Take your gift up a notch and select a word, phrase, date, or nickname to engrave that has a special meaning to your relationship.[/li]

[li]Packaging Details Make a Difference

Sure, you could go to the mall and have your local fund-raising teen wrap your present but why not put some extra oomph into it? Let’s say you want to get your wife or girlfriend a massage at her favorite spa. That’s a pretty standard gift. She may appreciate it but it’s pretty overdone and boring. So, instead of tucking the gift certificate away in a card, package it with a spa basket. You could also create a theme package with a shiatsu massage gift certificate included in a Japanese styled basket that includes a sushi making kit, and a cast-iron tea pot filled with 12 reasons why you love her (one for each month).[/li]

[li]Present with Passion

Think about where you will give her your gift. Will it be by the tree on Christmas morning? A stroll in the park? At the place you went to on your first date?[/li]

[li]Seal the Deal with a Sentimental Note 

You don’t have to be Shakespeare or write a novel to write a great note card. All you have to do is answer this question: why do you love her? You’ll get extra points if you include why you selected your gift and what you hope for your future together.[/li]


If there is one thing you take away from this article, it should be this: it’s not always about what you give; it’s about how you give it.  You can be a better lover without the hefty price tag.

Women are typically more impressed by the thought you put into your present, than the actual present itself.

To be a better lover, all you have to do is sincerely make your present about her.

be a better lover kimberlyKimberly Bordonaro is a branding expert who transforms creative entrepreneurs into profitable brands. She has built a career on combining practical marketing and business advice with inspiring lyrical and pop culture references to form a philosophy termed Brandspiration™. Visit her today at and be sure to follow her on Twitter @Brandspiration

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