Is She Interested In Me?

is she interested in me
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
The question – Is she interested in me?

Most guys ask themselves this question from time to time.

Either they are way off in their interpretation of her being interested or they don’t have a clue.

Both groups of guys end up extremely frustrated in their personal lives.

After all, spending a considerable amount of time pondering “is she interested in me?” can take it’s toll on someone’s well-being.

Rejection and feeling alone are not two things that rank high on anyone’s priority list.

Let’s face it – for the most part people want to be liked, loved and wanted.

Nothing wrong with that – it’s human nature.

The disconnect occurs when a guy just doesn’t get the hint or know the proper signs of interest/attraction.

So, let’s take a look at some of the reasons why she wouldn’t be into you and how you can ultimately stop asking the dreaded, “Is She Interested In Me?”

Some Signs She’s Definitely Not Interested

Just because this needs to be literally spelled out for some guys, if she has a boyfriend or husband she’s not into you.

Granted, there is a percentage of the population who like to go outside of their relationship for some bump and grind.

Those are the unhealthy leeches and parasites we want to avoid. We like a real woman around here.

 “Wow, this bartender is pretty flirty tonight, is she interested in me?” 

No.

Customer service is her job and being nice to customers makes for good business.

With that said, I will leave out the Hooters girls and exotic dancers, that should be self-explanatory (if not, save yourself some time and just stop reading here).

You texted or sent her a direct message and didn’t get a response. This is a passive way of her telling you no.

Women generally don’t want to hurt a man’s feelings or sense of pride.  Saying no to someone can be tough.

While being up front and honest about out her lack of interest is the best way to approach this situation, it doesn’t always happen.

It can also make for a semi-awkward situation the next time you run into her somewhere.

It’s up to you to heed this notice (or lack thereof), shrug it off and move on.

You’re BFF’s.  If you’ve been friends with her for ages and she’s never shown any indication of attraction or that she’d like more out your relationship, your fighting a losing battle.

This isn’t the movies where the quirky dude who fumbles ups everything gets his smoking hot best friend.

Drop that notion and continue on with your personal life elsewhere.

Be glad that you’ve got a great friend who can also help you out big time when it comes to relationship advice and meeting women.

If you’re in the same place, room or general vicinity of a woman and she is being nice to you via a casual conversation – it doesn’t mean that she’s into you!

A lot of guys make mistake of thinking that getting attention, in any way, from a woman is an indicator of attraction.

She talked to you so she must like you, right?

Wrong.

They soon find this out when they make happen to make their move.

What happens next? They end up frustrated and with a jaded perspective on dating and women in general.

That’s a bad place to be, man.

Unfortunately having that kind of outlook or philosophy when it comes to women is only going to keep brining about negative results and damage your self-esteem.

Hate to be so blatant with this last one but some guys need it – if she specifically or outright tells you she’s not interested, that’s all information you need to move one.

Easy to understand but not implemented too often by many guys.

If she’s telling you she’s not looking/dating/getting out there, or something of that variety, she’s not asking you to keep asking her out.

Don’t even downplay the fact that you were just trying to ask her out. Respect her decision and keep on keepin’ on.

Pretty simple.

What’s not simple is picking up on the right signals and signs of when she actually is interested in you.

Until now..

So, Is She Interested In Me?

It’s an important question and one that deserves important answers.

Let’s start with some natural indicators of  how she shows her interest in you.

She’ll be responsive to you.

When you call or text you’ll get a reply or a returned call.

She makes time for you.

She doesn’t have a cousin’s brother’s wife’s funeral to go to, again.

There’s a difference between actual events that are important (or unexpected) and always having something going on the day you’re trying to make plans.

If she’s willing to reschedule and does, that’s a solid sign of interest.

She texts/messages you.

Odds are if a woman is going out of her way to make contact with you there’s a level of interest that’s worth exploring on your end.

You ask her out and she says yes.

One of the easiest to recognize but a little different when you’re actually navigating that first date.

If she agrees to a second date.

If the two of you had a great night out and she’s all about seeing you next time, unless she doesn’t get how dating works, she wants to see where or how it will go with you.

She tells you.

Shocker, I know.  But if she’s verbally telling you how much she enjoys your company or asks you to go out – she’s interested in you.

On the not so natural side there are some subtle hints that you can pick up on to let you know she likes you before you’ve met or had a chance to introduce yourself.

Eye contact.

If you’re out and about and you’ve locked eyes with her and it turns into more of a gaze, give her a smile.  If she smiles back then you’ve got a great reason to head over an introduce yourself.

Even though eye contact can be important DO NOT stare or make it creepy.

A number of women get gawked at and hounded many times a day and the last thing they need is another weirdo a with laser stalker stare.

She flirts verbally and physically.

Some playful touching, a hit on the arm, or a flip of the hair exposing her neck.

She gives you bedroom eyes.

When we see something we like or that is attractive to us our brains release dopamine and our pupils dilate.

When a room is darker our pupils get larger so it makes sense why so many restaurants and romantic dinners are dimly lit.  It subconsciously sends these signals of arousal and attraction.

She mirrors your body language.

Imitation is more than just a form of flattery, it can be a sign of attraction.

When things are going well between two people their body movements and language align or sync up closer to each others. There is even some interesting research on how the older a couple grows together the more they physically start to look like each other.

These are all great signals that she might dig you but she’s the only one who can know how she feels.

Hell, she may not even know she’s even sending out these kinds of signals so don’t be careless in your interpretations.

It’s up to you to exercise a supreme level of respect and consideration, no matter what the situation is, and go about approaching her and exploring a connection in the right manner.

Stop Asking “Is She Interested In Me?”

Where this information is of real benefit is when we remove this entire question from our minds and start seeing, thinking and behaving differently.

By focusing solely on “is she interested in me?” you’re centering around the idea of ‘her’ and missing out on the real indicators she may or may not be showing you.

Instead, ask yourself “am I seeing any signs she’s interested?” so you can focus more on tangible feedback.

Be proactive when a woman is not into you in a relationship or romantic kind of way.

Let it go.

Never talk a woman down or get upset with her because she doesn’t like you or isn’t attracted to you.

Dismiss the jaded beliefs that prevent you from enhancing your personal life and actually meeting a great woman.

It’s immature and something you have no control over anyway.

Know that it’s OK – everyone is not made for everyone and if she’s not interested in you, no big deal. The sun will burn another day.

Be responsive, in the right way, when she is showing you the signals.

After all, you’ll never find out if you don’t go for it.

 img credit