You don’t have to be the Superman to be her Superman or know how to be her dream guy.
In my book for women I share with them that they should try to fulfill most items on their man’s “Woman Checklist” in order to foster intimacy in their relationship.
Every man has one—it’s that list of attributes you have in your brain regarding what the perfect woman is all about.
Part of that list from the book reads like this:
- She gives me head.
- She lets me bang her.
- She looks good.
- She cooks.
- She cleans.
- She doesn’t bitch at me all the time.
- She lets me hang with the boys.
- She doesn’t nag me.
- She doesn’t interrupt while the game is on.
- She laughs at my jokes.
When I shared that list with one of my male friends before the book published, his hilarious response was the text in bold below:
- She gives me head. Yes
- She lets me bang her. Doesn’t matter if 1 is true
- She looks good. Doesn’t matter if 1 is true
- She cooks. Doesn’t matter if 1 is true
- She cleans. Doesn’t matter if 1 is true
- She doesn’t bitch at me all the time. Doesn’t matter if 1 is true
- She lets me hang with the boys. Doesn’t matter if 1 is true
- She doesn’t nag me. Same as 6
- She doesn’t interrupt while the game is on. Same as 8
- She laughs at my jokes. Where the hell did you come up with this one?
I about passed out laughing when I read this because it reminded me of a similar sentiment my mom, of all people, shared with me many years ago. Ahh…what a fun birds and bees conversation that was!
And really, my friend was joking…but only sort of. We all know that there are things that are important to us in a mate (and good oral sex is usually towards the top of that list).
She Wants You to Know How to be Her Dream Guy
Ask most women and they, at some point in their lives, have written a “My Dream Guy” list. It usually includes things like: Handsome, loyal, funny, honest, attentive, cuddly, romantic, adventurous, playful, kind, thoughtful, respectful, etc… You know, that impossible-to-ever-fulfill list that you think she holds you up to.
Here’s my list from when I was 22. Interestingly enough, my list hasn’t changed that much over the years. (Forgive the chicken scratch)
While impossible to live up to every item on a mate’s list, it’s not a bad idea to at least know what’s on their list and see where you rank. If she has a top 10 list and you fulfill 2 items…well…that may help you understand the 8 reasons you aren’t getting laid as often as you’d like.
“Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.” —Billy Crystal
Keep in mind, I’m not saying, “YOU MUST CONFORM!” to everything on her list. That’s impossible from either side. This isn’t the movie Weird Science and none of us were built in a lab to fulfill the every dream and wish of their honey.
But, at the same time, often the things on your sweetie’s list can be achieved by just making slight tweaks to behavior—not changing who you are (unless, of course, you’re a jerk which I know none of you are!).
How to Be Her Dream Guy
How do you put this into action?
Maybe you don’t know what’s on her list. I have an incredibly novel idea here.
Wait for it…ask her.
Wow, I know that sounds nuts. But being a good communicator is a huge part of a happy relationship and amazing nookie—so it’s time to use that skill to find out what is most important to your woman.
While it may feel silly to do it, ask her what the top 10 things are that are important to her in a relationship.
If you are worried that this may be uncomfortable to bring up, tell her that while in line at the Starbucks this morning you overheard a few girls talking about how they did this “My Dream Guy” list with their husbands and how it significantly helped their relationship. And now you want to try it with her to make sure she’s happy and getting what she needs.
Believe me, that’ll make it less awkward and will probably pique her interest in doing it. Also, she’ll likely think you are amazing for even asking the question—chicks love it when men ask them what they want. It’s genetic. We can’t help ourselves. It makes us feel loved and cherished.
If you are worried that it is just too odd of a conversation to have, ask her to write it down instead of telling you verbally. Sometimes, that can seem much easier because she can do it alone then share it with you without feeling put on the spot.
As we’ve talked about before, great sex doesn’t start in the bedroom. It begins in the kitchen, the living room, and every other room in and out of your house. For most women, good sex starts with how happy she is with both you and herself.
You don’t have to be a knight on a stallion to know how to be her dream guy. Just don’t be her jester on a donkey.
As always, I hope my articles help you achieve the greatest happiness, best sex and most amazing romance with your woman. Happy humping!
Jodi Ambrose is our sex expert here at The Acquiring Man, author of Sex: How to Get More of It (for the guys) and Intimacy: How to Get More of It (for the ladies). She’s also contributed to Playboy radio on the topics of sex, love and relationships. Check out her blog and be sure to follow her on Twitter @JodiAmbrose.