There are plenty of rewarding seduction techniques that men can use, so let’s talk about the art of getting into her knickers for the first time.
Achieving the ever-desired goal of the “sleep over” with a new woman isn’t so different than strategizing while building your fantasy football league or developing your tactics for winning the war in your favorite video game.
It’s all about plotting, knowing your adversary and finesse. Ask any girl who’s agreed to give it up sooner than they thought they would, and most of them would tell you that it was all about their man’s style and charisma (I say this from personal experience, but shhhhh…don’t tell!).
So, which seduction techniques do you use to get to the finish line? Keep in mind, all girls like to think they are special; rarely is there a woman who wants to feel like just another notch on your bedpost. Because of this, it’s time to start working your A-game.
Depending on the type of woman upon whom you are exercising your prowess, your strategy may need adjusting as the night goes on, but there are quite a few tips and tricks that generally work across the board. Let’s check out what could be the perfect evening.
Easy to Implement Seduction Techniques
Cook for her: Being not only willing but happy to cook a meal for her shows that you are thoughtful and attentive. This is not a dinner of boxed macaroni and cheese though. Buy a bag of salad and have a few different dressings available so you know you have one that she likes. Make one of Grandma’s Secret Recipes (girls LOVE that kind of thing). If you can’t cook, go to the local Italian market, pick up some spaghetti marinara, stick it in a pot on the stove, carefully hide the container it came in and pretend it’s yours. It’s all about the appearance of struggling to cook her an amazing meal. It’s even better if she gets to see you cooking—few things are sexier. So, get the meal going before she gets there so she sees all of your hard work cooking for her. Watching a man tend to pots on the stove is H.O.T!
Touch her in non-sexual ways: Okay, every touch is probably sexual when dealing with seduction techniques, but you want them to appear as though they aren’t—at least at first. It can take time for a girl to be comfortable with you being physical, even if they are craving you like a bowl of chocolate. Subtle touches on the arm, an accidental bump while hanging out in the kitchen, putting your hand on her back as you slip past her—all of these things create an intimate, but safe touching environment for your girl and allows the sparks to build slowly over the course of the evening.
Be chivalrous: Always. Period. End of discussion. Trust me, it works. Even though you are at home, pull out the chair for her when you sit down to eat. Refill her drink when you see it’s getting close to empty. Put food on a plate for her and serve it to her. This doesn’t make you her servant, it makes you the sweet, charming man she dreamed about as a little girl when knights on white horses were a real and tangible thing.
Ask her about herself: We all love to talk about ourselves and we know that most women can talk a blue streak. Without sounding like you are playing 20 questions, ask her about all kinds of things but hone in on the wild times she had when she was a teenager or in college. This will bring on nostalgia for her crazy days of reckless youth and a desire to relive them. What better way to recapture the excitement of times gone by then to spend the night with you?
“Good talk is part of seduction. If not so, why do so many couples who start the evening at dinner wind up in bed?” ― Stephen King
Play a game after dinner: This may sound elementary, but if she likes to play cards or board games, throw darts or shoot pool, do that. This shows her that you can be competitive without being a jerk. That you are playful and fun. That you aren’t just trying to immediately score, even if that is the ultimate goal. Plus, it gives you something light-hearted to do while establishing a stronger connection and it gives you something to fall back on, conversationally speaking, if you hit a lull. It also helps a woman relax in your company, which is a huge necessity when going for that overnight stay.
Flattery will get you everywhere: Women like to be complimented. Not every 5 seconds, but in a thoughtful way. Avoid the “Damn, you’ve got some fine T&A” kind of flattery and go for less typical compliments. She looks pretty in blue. She has the most beautifully colored eyes. You think she’s funny (everyone likes to feel funny). Especially select those things about which she may be insecure and compliment her on them—this will make you stand out from other men and give her the warm fuzzies, which is exactly what you want.
Pay attention to her body language: You can best evaluate your chances of scoring by watching her facial expressions and the way she moves her body. While the idea of body language could fill a 1000 page book, ultimately it’s key to pay attention to how often she smiles, how close she stands/sits next to you, and how relaxed she appears to be. An uptight, uncomfortable, unsmiling girl is not going to bed you. Your job, as closer of the deal, is to ensure she’s happy, relaxed and feels safe with you. When your girl feels those emotions you are much more likely to get the end result you are looking for.
“It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.” ― Voltaire
Don’t ask if you can kiss her: As Nike says, “Just Do It”. A good strategy is to pick unusual times to kiss her. Don’t wait for that end-of-the-date moment to make your first move. If she throws a bulls-eye in darts, give her a congratulatory kiss on the side of her mouth. As far as seduction techniques go, the “side kiss” is great because it establishes sexuality in the way you are touching her, but isn’t an overt grope. Plus you can gauge her reaction to the affection and know how to proceed from there. You, being an unpredictable kisser, gives a woman an edge of excitement and anticipation that she’ll feel down to her toes.
Seal the deal: Most women want to feel seduced by the Big Strong Man. Especially if we are going to go to bed with you sooner than we planned. When it comes time to get down to it, let her lead the way. I’m not suggesting that you be wishy-washy, but if you come on too strong she may pull back. Just think back to when you were in high school and you’d attempt 1st base, then 2nd, then 3rd and then you’d pray to anyone that would listen that you’d get home base. Don’t rush through and try and jump from 1st to scoring in 10 minutes. Enjoy the game as it unfolds and leisurely relax her into it. The last thing you want is her regretting her decision in the morning, so if you gently nudge along the way and she happily goes along with it, you are much more likely to get a repeat performance the next day.
While all women are different and you’ll have to adjust your seduction techniques based on the feedback she gives you as your evening together progresses, ultimately women wants to feel desired, respected, beautiful, safe and admired. Make it your mission to ensure she feels this way and hot, delicious sex is likely to be the only dessert you’ll be serving that evening.
As always, I wish you much luck, love and happy humping.
Jodi Ambrose is our sex expert here at The Acquiring Man, author of Sex: How to Get More of It (for the guys) and Intimacy: How to Get More of It (for the ladies). She’s also contributed to Playboy radio on the topics of sex, love and relationships. Check out her blog and be sure to follow her on Twitter @JodiAmbrose.
“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.” ― Marilyn Monroe