It’s a question many men have struggled with throughout the ages.
With the emergence of single individuals and the explosive growth of the online dating platforms, lining up the first date is easy – but what do the two of you do during that important first encounter?
Struggle no more, my friend.
You are about to learn the best places to take her on a first date and the (not-so-obvious) reasons as to why they work so well.
We’re also going to cover the places you should not be taking her and the (not-so-obvious) reasons as to why they do not work in your favor.
Struggling to Come Up with First Date Ideas
Let’s face it, the dating process has to start somewhere.
If you’re interested and would like to get to know a woman it makes perfect sense to meet somewhere and explore your options.
You’ve taken the lead and asked her out.
Enter The First Date.
But where do you take her? It can be a bit confusing and frustrating trying to figure it out.
Most guys feel like they’ve got to pull out all the stops in order to make a great first impression.
You can make an amazing first impression without having to go overboard (or emptying your wallet), which we’ll cover in a second, but first let’s take a look at what’s wrong with typical go-to first date scenarios.
Don’t Take Her to These Places on the First Date
This may come as a surprise to many but what you’ve thought were solid first date ideas are really a bad choice on your part.
First off, let me start by saying this is the most over-played and worn out experience for a first date. Not only is it unoriginal it leaves little room for actual conversation.
Between ordering your food, your server appearing on occasion and the courses being delivered, you’re jamming breadsticks in your face.
Another major downfall to the dinner first date – what if she’s not someone you find yourself into?
She could be rude, annoying or unpleasant and now you’re locked in for a lengthy period of time until the check comes.
Insert awkward silences or bad conversation and it just makes for an uncomfortable experience.
Don’t waste your time with dinner on the first date. Save it for dates 2, 3 and beyond.
Another go-to place for the first date, usually subsequent to the dinner mentioned earlier. A lot of people love movies (present company included) but let’s take a look at whats wrong with going to the movies on a first date.
Little to no conversation/communication at all.
Sure, you could talk in the concession line or before the lights dim, but outside of that you’ve got two hours sitting side-by-side next to each other.
The movie could be great (or it could be bad – also not good), but what have you learned about her thus far? Besides the fact that she may have superb napkin management skills for that buttery popcorn.
Stay clear of the movies until dates 2, 3 and beyond.
Earlier I mentioned that some guys feel they need to go all out to make a great first impression.
There are a few reasons why this a bad idea.
First, if you’re trying to ‘impress’ her it’s going to show. That’s a turn off for most most women.
It also builds this false sense of who you really are.
Eventually she’ll get to know the real you and odds are it will be nothing like the character you were playing early on.
Next, you don’t know who she is.
The Vegan Cooking Class you scheduled may not suit her tastes as an avid steak lover, and The BBQ Cooking class isn’t going to work well for the vegan.
Salsa Dance Lessons won’t be a good fit if she blew her knee out as a child and doesn’t dance.
See what I mean here?
There are ton of scenarios where surprising her on the first date can go horribly, horribly wrong.
Don’t be that guy.
Save the elaborate surprises for when the two of you have actually established some type of relationship.
Make Your First Date Not a First “Date”
By now you’re probably wondering what the hell you can do and “where do I take her on a first date then?”
Here’s the deal.
They key is to remove all the pressure and room for error from your first date, right? You want things to go smooth and have a good time.
To do that you simply have to make your first date not a first date.
Confused? Let me explain.
See, the whole premise behind dating is to get to know someone.
You don’t have to spend a bunch of money, sit through dinner or a movie or get all elaborate in what you’re actually doing.
All you have to do is open up the opportunity to talk and get to know her.
It’s a simple as that.
You’re first date isn’t going be a ‘date’ at all. It’s going to be a chance for you two to communicate.
The beauty behind doing this is that you’ll figure out if you’d like to move on or see each other again.
Honestly, it only takes about 15-20 minutes of conversation with someone to find out if they’re interesting to you or you’d like to spend more time with them.
It also does something extremely beneficial for you moving forward – it allows you to learn about her.
When you begin to know who she is, what she likes and what she dislikes, you have now armed yourself with the knowledge to make dates 2, 3 and beyond amazing.
It’s a little shift in philosophy but makes a world of a difference when it comes to those of you that may struggle with anxiety or nervousness when it comes to meeting new people.
Remove the expectations (of having to impress) by keeping it light and casual. You’ll actually find yourself having much more fun than you thought.
It also enables you to meet more women, if you wish, by not limiting availability to only nights and weekends.
Ok, Now – Where Do I take Her on a First Date – I Mean Non-Date?
The following suggestions are golden when it comes to meeting someone with the sole intentions of getting to know them.
They offer environments where communication and conversation can thrive.
Remember the goal is to get to know her and see if there is potential for another date or meeting in the future.
Get a cup of coffee or tea
Odds are there are 40 Starbucks around the corner from you. Find a time that works for the both of you and meet there for a cup of coffee (or tea if coffee aint your bag) and some conversation.
Want to kick it up a notch? Find a local and unique coffee house in your town. The locally-owned shops that sell art off the wall usually make for great conversation pieces and a fun experience.
Grab a cocktail
Odds are there are 40 bars around the corner from you. Meeting for a drink is always fun, just be sure not to over-do it.
A small or quite bar can be a great place for some conversational tennis. New and trendy joints seem to be popping up everywhere these days.
Just be sure to avoid loud, noisy places. Clubs and venues jam-packed with people should be a no-brainer at this point. Screaming into her ear isn’t something you want to be doing.
Any quite setting
Here are a few ideas that are often overlooked.
Take a walk in town, do some people watching or stroll through the park on a nice day. There’s no rule that says the two of you can’t have a good time without actually doing something or being in a particular place.
Use you imagination and get creative. Chances are your town/city has a number of attractions or venues you could go check out together while getting to know each other.
There you have it. No more need to ask yourself “where do I take her on a first date?”
The best part about all of these first date ideas is that simple meetings like this leave the door unlocked.
It allows for you to set up your next date, which can be more formal, or something fun and wild (since you’ve done your job and uncovered a bit about her).
It also allows for the two of you to respectfully part ways if needed.
In the event there isn’t a connection just remember to be honest. There is no excuse for stringing her along, saying you’ll call, then flaking out on her.
If it’s not there, it’s not there – no need to be ashamed.
Thank her for her time and let her know how much you appreciated the opportunity to get to know her. She’ll appreciate the honesty and who knows, the two of you could become great friends and help each other find the right person down the line.
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